


Big Deal

by storiesfortravellers



Category: White Collar
Genre: Double Entendre, Double Penetration, F/F, Handcuffs, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sex Toys, Sexual Humor, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-19
Updated: 2012-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-12 11:03:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/490173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the first time Neal joins Peter and El in bed.  Peter's way larger than Neal expects.  Smutfic with humor (or humorfic with smut).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Deal

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on lj at collarkink for a prompt requesting Peter's large size.

"Holy crap, Peter, are you sure that's government issue?" Neal asked, eyes widened.

Peter turned bright red as El giggled. "I know, it's amazing, right?" she said.

"El!" Peter objected.

"You're a behemoth, honey, deal with it," she smiled.

Neal just kept staring at it. He cocked his head to the side to look it from another angle, like he was trying to puzzle out a really difficult heist. He looked a little bit happy and a little bit scared.

Peter, face bright red even as he was starting to feel aroused at all the attention, tried to move a pillow in front of himself. A minute ago, they were all groping and moaning and doing one more round of 'Are you sure?' and 'HELL yes.' Now El and Neal were just standing over him as he lay on the bed, exposed, like they were cats who decided to divide up the canary.

"Seriously, Peter," Neal said, "Your leg must fall asleep ALL the time."

That was too much. Peter moved to stand to walk away from this ridiculous situation, but Elizabeth held up her palm in front of his chest and guided him to sit back down on the bed. 

"Look Neal, you know Peter can be self-conscious, so let's be a little nicer to him," she said, smiling.

Neal smirked at him. "Sorry, Peter. I didn't mean to act like a giant dick. Seriously, I feel like I just put a gigantic foot in my mouth. I'll try not to cock it up again."

"Neal," Peter warned as El tried very hard to keep a straight face.

"Really sorry, Peter," Neal continued, "I don't want to upset you, I mean you've made me feel like a HUGE member of your family. I feel so bad making fun of you, it's like an enormous prick to my conscience. I mean I should be helping you relax, you shouldn't have to do all the heavy lifting, Peter. By the way, that's a great name for you."

Elizabeth snorted with laughter and Peter put his face in his hands.

Neal smiled, and gently moved Peter's hands away so they could look at each other. "Sorry, but I couldn't resist. It's intimidating, you know. But hey, you know I love a challenge."

El moves her arm around Neal's waist, reassurance and temptation both, and says, "Don't worry, Neal, getting ready for it is half the fun."

Neal and El give matching grins at Peter, who swallows in anticipation.

It's El's idea to bring out the handcuffs, but she shows hospitality and offers Neal the honors. 

"Seriously? Me cuffing Peter? Oh, even without the sex, this is still the best night of my life."

"Shut up and chain our man down," she ordered cheerfully giving Neal a light swat on the ass.

Neal, dramatic as ever, decided he had to straddle Peter as he lay on his back, grinding his ass onto Peter's lower abdomen, his face close to Peter's face, as he cuffed Peter's hands to the bar on the headboard.

"You are enjoying this way too much," Peter accused.

"You have no idea," Neal grinned, but his look became one of surprise as he felt El's hand brush down his spine toward the cleft in his ass.

He moaned as El pressed a finger, cold with lube, at his hole, and he could see Peter's eyes darken at the sound of it. Neal kissed Peter on the mouth as El worked her fingers, small but strong, inside of him, first one then two, then, achingly, three. Neal could tell she must be using her other hand on Peter's dick because Peter was making muffled noises in his mouth that he couldn't imagine coming from Peter before tonight.

Tension built, pressure. But soon, El's voice rang out, "Time to switch, sweethearts." And her hands left them.

Soon she came back holding a two-way dildo, one side much larger than the other. She handed it to Neal along with lube, and he didn't need an explanation. He guided it gently into Peter, as Peter mumbled, "Neal, Neal.... fuck, Neal..."

El smiled approvingly at Neal's work. He didn't know when she became the ringmaster, but hell, she was an event planner, and he realized he was grateful for it.

She kissed Neal on the mouth before helping him slide onto the larger side of the dildo, her hands a soothing presence as Neal felt himself stretch, burn. Peter tried to crane his neck up to watch without moving too much. It was enormous, and Neal had to go inch by inch, focusing on his breathing, but when he was in, he gently pushed forward onto it.

Peter rocked back.

It hit Neal exactly right.

Seeing that this was going well, El straddled Peter's face, and Peter moaned at the taste of her, her heat and wetness on him, and soon her juices were flowing down his lips as he and Neal groaned as they rocked each other back and forth, both Neal's hands wrapped, one on top of the other, around Peter's dick.

Right when it felt like Peter was about to come, they stopped. El got up, and Neal slid off the dildo, then pulled the other side out of Peter. She climbed on top of Peter, then, and Neal stood back, not sure what his new place should be, and wanting see how Elizabeth would manage it. She gave herself plenty of time, and her and Peter's faces looked exquisite, pained and needy and deliriously in pleasure as she slowly came down around him. The thick head was an ordeal all its own but El steadily moved herself down, controlling her motions with her knees and thighs, until she took in an astonishing amount of Peter, though not all of him. They started to move then, so slowly, up and down, and when El managed to grind her hips back and forward just a little, Peter let out a deep moan.

El looked at Neal then, gave him a glance that told him that she wanted him and where. Neal grabbed the lube as he knelt behind her, hesitating as he moved his fingers between her cheeks.

"Yes, Neal, now!" she said, and he prepared her quickly and slid into her ass. She was tight, but given who her husband was, it was no surprise she could take Neal. They were still for a moment, making sure El caught her breath, was ready to direct their motions, now with both men inside of her. When she moved slowly, Neal could not help but let out a noise that was a little higher than he intended. He could feel her tight around him, but Neal could also feel him, Peter, could feel the pressure from Peter's cock so nearby, with the thinnest of layers between them. They moves slowly, carefully, until El started shaking, shuddering, all the way down to her legs and toes, and Neal just barely managed to come right along with her.

She made a sound then, a satisfied, deep, sound, regal and animal all at once. Neal slid out of her then, and the she dismounted from Peter. She looked like she wanted to collapse with joy, but she walked, unsteady, over to the chair and sat facing them, wincing just a little as she did. 

Neal looked at her confused. Peter finally brought him back, saying, "Neal, I think she wants to watch the two of us finish."

Neal looked back at Peter's face, then down at his cock, now fully aroused and bigger than Neal even thought possible. "I think it would be easier with you behind me," Neal said, knowing that the other position would be easier, even if would give Peter rather than Neal more control over how much length he took.

"So uncuff me," Peter said, smiling, sweaty-faced and impatient.

Reluctantly, Neal undid the cuffs, not bothering to get the key. Peter didn't even bother stretching his arms; he stacked pillows on the bed and helped Neal lie on them, making sure there was room enough for Peter's hand to slip in and grip Neal's dick. Neal felt pressure then, even with all the preparation, and a ton of new lube, and Neal gasped. It was huge, so much bigger than it looked, and that didn't seem possible, but it was so much, and Peter was going so slow, whispering and stroking Neal, being so gentle even as he was practically impaling him, and all Neal could think was that he had never known that he was capable of wanting to beg to be tortured more. Peter stopped after a while and waited for Neal to adjust, but Neal asked, "Are you all the way?"

"I'm good," Peter said.

Not an answer. "I can take more," Neal said.

"Neal, you don't need to-" Peter argued, even though he sounded like he could barely breathe with anticipation.

"Peter, stop condescending to Neal," El said.

Even with what felt like a missile inside of him, Neal had to smirk at that.

"But he's just being competitive," Peter whined.

"Peter!" Neal said, "Shut up and fuck me."

A pause, and then Peter pressed another inch. Neal groaned. He felt like Peter was burning him, deliciously good.

Neal managed to whisper, "More."

Peter slid in yet another inch and waited for Neal to adjust. Finally, Neal said nothing, couldn't ask for more of Peter even though he wanted to. Peter pulled back enough to give him room to set a rhythm, to move in and out, tormentingly slow and beautiful and full, and when he finally sped up, went hurtling toward climax, Neal came in his hands at the same time. 

Neal felt like he had been through something, had become something else, and he barely even noticed when their gentle hands moved him slowly, cleaned him up, surrounded his body with their arms and their warmth. When he was finally able to speak, he just looked at El and said, "Seriously, when you two get in an elevator, does that thing have to wait for the next one so there's enough room?"


End file.
